After a long day or week of work, it is always a nice feeling to look forward to a meal, enjoy a tete-a-tete session or some sort of gathering with family and friends. Indeed, according to a study on the social conditions for human happiness at the Erasmus University in Rotterdam, people tend to be happier if they can go out for meals and have close friendships.
It is said that friendship is the rainbow between two hearts sharing seven colours: feelings, love, sadness, happiness, truth, faith, and respect. When skies are grey, or in times of downpour, we all need a little rainbow to brighten up our day. Having good social connections with people – friends, family members, neighbours, colleagues etc, is relevant to personal well-being and happiness. Having people whom we can rely on and confide in reduces the tendency to experience negative emotions like sadness, isolation, low self-esteem and depression. It also leads to fewer stress-related health problems and a lower risk of contracting mental illnesses.
Additionally, being part of a group instils a sense of identity and belonging. It reminds us that we are part of something larger, and that validates our self-worth. More importantly, strong relationships create safety nets for us to explore the world, discover ourselves and help us become better people. With the loving support of our parents, we are able to pursue our dreams. With the faith and understanding of our spouses, we have the courage to carve out completely new career paths mid-life. In fact, you will find that with encouragement and care from loved ones, we recover faster from illness and trauma.
Materialism and happiness
A New York Times article in 2010 discussed the “hedonic adaptation”, a phenomenon in which people quickly become used to changes to maintain a stable level of happiness. For example, when you buy a new car you may experience a rush of adrenaline and pride for a short moment. But after a while you will get accustomed to it, and then probably think of getting another new car. Materialism prompts one to pursue newer, better things instead of being contented. Such happiness is often fleeting.
Relationships, on the other hand, may be are immune to this phenomenon. Positive emotions derived from connecting with others are lasting. When we enjoy being with someone, we often want to continue interacting with that person. Rarely do we choose to forget about him or her and find a new friend.
Elderly and Children can instil more optimism in you
Many young couples these days believe they can derive greater joy from freedom of living on their own. However, being around elderly and children can actually evoke positive emotions.
Contrary to common misconceptions of old people being grouchy and difficult, livescience.com (a science news website) reveals that older adults are happier than younger or middle-aged adults. This is largely due to their ability to accept outcomes that they can’t control, and acceptance and contentment are important factors for happiness. Notice how parents may push their children, while grandparents often discourage against it. It isn’t always about spoiling the grandchild, but perhaps because the grandparent is able to accept the child’s abilities and recognise his/her achievements regardless how minor they may be. Listening to an elderly person share guidance and wisdom is not only beneficial for knowledge, it can even be therapeutic as a welcome change from the competitive pace of life. Try spending more time with your grandparents, elderly neighbours or even at the old folk’s home. You may take comfort in it.
Raising children is a major challenge for parents yet it is undeniable that children are great fun to be with. If we just cast aside our worries for awhile and join them in their world, there is much we can be inspired from them about living the moment through sheer honesty, imagination, confidence and curiosity. Devote time to family and friends, and appreciate them for the happiness they give you. Nurture your relationships so that the rainbows are there to stay.
– This article first appeared in a lifestyle magazine.
