“Have you ever lost someone you love and wanted one more conversation, one more chance to make up for the time when you thought they would be here forever? If so, then you know you can go your whole life collecting days, and none will outweigh the one you wish you had back.” ― Mitch Albom, For One More Day.
Have you recently turned down a loved one’s request to spend time together or work together on something due to work or personal indulgence? You would be in the minority if you answered “no”, but you deserve a clap on the back for that. Time is a precious commodity and most of us, when we’re busy or thirsting for some time off, would rather invest the free time on ourselves. Yet it is this self-centredness that has been dulling bonds, brewing loneliness, mounting desires for relentless pursuit of material gains stemming from the void in the heart. No man is an island, and if you are stingy with time, you may find that you continue to struggle with making time for your endless individual commitments.
Professor Cassie Mogilnor of the University of Pennsylvania Wharton School who studies happiness, once did an experiment to find out if giving time away made one feel that he had more time. The answer may seem obvious, but in fact, the experiment produced surprising results. The experiment was held over three occasions and the experiment subjects were divided into two groups. The first group were tasked with doing meaningful things for others in all experiments. The second group were asked to waste time on mundane tasks, to do something for themselves, and to do nothing in each of the three experiments. The first group always responded with a greater figure when asked how much time they could spare for another task, or expressed the feeling of having more time, in contrast to the second group. It was deduced that doing meaningful things for others made one feel more capable, confident and useful. This makes them feel that they can accomplish more in future, and less anxious about lack of time.
The next time someone asks for your time, don’t be so quick to turn them down with “I’m busy”. You don’t have to be free with your time, but you should be gracious with your time, while ensuring that you still have time for the other necessary things. Offer to help with the housework, go shopping with the significant other, spend time with your folks, be a companion to a troubled friend… You will discover that you aren’t as busy as you thought you are. The clock is always ticking, and work never ends. But relationships dull when neglected, and neither time nor people turn back if you don’t cherish the moments that matter most.
– This article first appeared in a lifestyle magazine
